Victim Mindset

"Stop treating yourself as a victim of your past.  Just be a confident survivor and you be able to handle anything.

Self-evaluation and self-criticism is difficult especially when you have issues with low self-esteem or self-confidence.  It’s easier for people to place blame on things outside of self. When you blame all your problems or successes on outside influences you give up all power and opportunity to improve or change a situation.  This approach creates an invisible shield that is used to deflect bad feelings or experiences.  This “shield” robs you and can render your “sword” (hope) useless.  Pick up your sword and use it to slay the problems in your life. 

A victim mentality creates the illusion that part of your life is controlled by others, leaving you feeling powerless over situations.

Steps to regain control and power of your life and to stop being a victim:

1.      Describe or focus on an event in your past good/bad.

2.      Acknowledge how your decision/action affected this event.

3.      If you were satisfied with the outcome reflect on this and take ownership of it.  If you weren’t satisfied with the outcome take time to reflect on what actions (by you) resulted in an unfavorable outcome and what could be done differently in the future. 

4.      Learn from it. Whatever the outcome make sure you walk away with knowledge!

Not sure if you have a victim mindset?  Here are a few questions to ask yourself;

1.      Are a lot of your obstacles related to other people’s actions?

2.      Are you unable to see the commonality in of yourself in your life?

3.      Do you find it difficult to recover from unfavorable outcomes?

4.      Are you holding on to anger/resentment against someone whom you believe has done some wrong to you?

5.      Do outside influences/events constantly alter your direction?

So what to do about a victim mindset?  Like most things, change the way you think!  Stop seeing yourself as someone who is powerless.  Remember nothing in life is happening to you, it’s happening because of you!

I strongly suggest reading Joyce Meyers, Battlefield of the Mind.  This is a great book that deals with self-talk and spiritual healing. 

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Bring on 2013!!!!!

My goals for 2013 are simple!

-        Mediate daily

Ideally I’d like to spend at least 15 minutes each morning for reflection, preparation, and meditation.  Starting my day at peace will allow me to be in peace the entire day. 

-        Learn a new craft

When it comes to artisanship I really don’t have any skills.  I have basic knowledge on various “crafts” but no real skills.  Some of the things I’m considering is creating organic bath & body products, learning to crochet, learn to sew, and I’d like to learn to sculpt with clay.

-        Eat more natural, unprocessed foods

I refuse to say I’m going on a diet.  For me going on a diet translates to eating flavorless crap!  Instead I’ve chosen to dupe myself into eating better.  My plan is to limit eating anything that isn’t made from scratch!  No more polycarbonates, unsaturated, saturates, unless the fruit, vegetable, meat or grain contains those things naturally! 

-        Exercise 3X’s week

Again, I have to dupe myself!  Trying to lose weight is taboo for me!  When I don’t see myself shedding the pounds as I’d like I get very frustrated and end up jumping off the wagon.  This year my plan is to just exercise at least 3 times a week.  If I lose some pounds great, if I don’t at least I’m doing my body some good!

-        Plant a vegetable garden

I’ve always viewed gardening as WORK!  And after working 40+ hours per week the last thing I want to do is back breaking physical labor!  It’s truly amazing how becoming FED UP with something will change your perspective.  Next to the mortgage the largest expense for my family is F-O-O-D!  And if you saw my bank statement you’d know that buffets & fast food chains were sucking up a lot of my money.  Not to mention what I’m teaching my 4 impressionable children!   I became fed up when I saw the amount of stress our spending was putting on myself and my husband.  I realized the expenses we’re incurring are completely unnecessary and VERY bad for us!  So I hit the books and began learning about where food comes from and how I can do it myself! 

-        Break my bad habits that lead to my clutter problem

(un)Fortunately I have a rebellion problem.  I rebel against everything.  One of the first things I rebelled against when I left home was my mother’s “cleanliness” rules.  What I saw as her being overbearing and unyielding “neat freakishness” was actually her trying to teach me the basic skills I would need later in life.  Fast forward 13 years, and I now have some major bad habits when it comes to picking up after me.  NO, I don’t go around leaving a trail behind me, but I do tend to leave magazines and papers in piles!  As easy as it should be this is something I struggle with and really would like to see improved.

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