Catch and Release

You have to be willing to throw a few small fish back in order to catch the big fish!

Every man you meet is not The One. As the saying goes, “You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.” You are committing to the frogs and not allowing yourself the time to find your prince. 

For a lot of women the fear of loneliness is the number 1 driving force behind such behavior. You have to realize that you are not alone when you have (and love) yourself. If you are desperate for companionship you may be blinded by that, and incapable of making a decision that truly encompasses your core needs and values. You may overlook the fact that he doesn't have a job, a car, nor has provided financial support for the family he previously established with another woman. But he fills that void you have for companionship. Be so full in yourself that the only reason for companionship is that you have found someone worthy enough for you to share the overflowing amount of love contained within you.  

You have to be honest and ask yourself;

1. Do I commit to every man I meet?   
2. Have I been able to end relationships on my terms?
3. Am I happy being alone?
4. Do I know my core values, beliefs, and boundaries?
5. Why am I looking for a partner?

Be honest as you answer these questions and allow the answers to be those that lie within your soul and spirit.  The worst thing you can do is be dishonest with yourself.  Answers like. "it's the right thing to do; I'm getting old; I'm tired of waiting." Just aren't good enough and all are influenced by external sources.  Who told you its the right thing?  Who told you you're getting too old to find love?  Who told you that you've waited too long for what's right for you?  Look beyond the surface of what the initial emotions and response is.  There are often much deeper things within you that have to be addressed before you can even begin to find a partner.  Don't be afraid to find what you truly desire.  That desire has been placed by the Creator and it will be fulfilled by the Creator. 

Read More »

Influence

"Do not be misled:  'Bad company corrupts good character.'" - 1 Corinthians 15:33

We always warn our children about their peer group and the influence they have on them.  As adults we tend to forget the influence people have on us because of the longevity of the relationships.  Often times these are the people whom we played with as children.  The thing is as we grow up and experience life we are no longer bound by the location and environments that were chosen for us by our caretakers.  Yet, we continue to maintain relationships that hinder us, simply because of loyalty, familiarity, and guilt.  There is a harsh reality to be faced about those coincidental relationships.  They are COINCIDENTAL.  

How to tell if someone is a negative influence:

Do you feel energized or full of positivity after being with this person?  If you find yourself mentally drained or having a sudden negative mood change after your interaction with them you should consider what type of energy/personality this person projects.  

Are you your best self when you're with this person?  If you have to pretend to be someone you are not in order to hang out with this person you should review the reason why.  

Do they support your goals, dreams, and ambitions?  If a peer belittles, downgrades, or blows off your goals you must ask yourself why are you subjecting yourself to someone who doesn't support you.
Are they immoral? This is an obvious one, but few people are willing to acknowledge that their friends and family are behaving immorally.  

Are they inconsiderate?  Relationships require action and committal from both parties.  And a peer that doesn't respect your perspective, needs, etc. may not be worth your time.  

Please be advised, I'm not advising you to sever ties with people whom you suspect may not be contributing positively to your life, however I am advising you to guard your time investment with such people.

Read More »