Silence you inner 5 year old!

I want, I want, I want!  Sounds like something you'd here a 5 year old screaming throughout a toy store.  Well, those 5 year olds are now 25+ still screaming, "I want, I want, I want!"  Now instead of Tonka trucks, baby dolls, and video games, they're screaming for cars, computers, and houses.

There's nothing wrong with wanting, for it ignites drive, determination, and motivation.  The issue lies in the inability to patiently wait for what you want.  Children are impulsive, so when they want something they want it NOW! As we grow and mature that impulsiveness is controlled, to an extent.  Sometime in adults that impulsiveness manifests itself in the overly extended, ever growing, limit exceeding consumer debt.  Today so many people are stressed, stuck, and unhappy due to the debts they've incurred buying "stuff", stuff they could've purchased in time without the incurred debt.  How many of your coworkers, peers, friends, and family members are stuck in jobs they don't want because of debt?

Tips to Avoid the Debt Trap

• Avoid emotionally driven impulse spending.  
• Appreciate what you have today.
• Understand that it's the job of marketers and advertisers to leave you feeling inadequate without their product, trust me you don't need it!
• Begin using a cash based budget.
• Don't accrue anymore debt.
• Don't fall in the trap of spending money in order to save money! 
• Seek fulfillment and wholeness outside of material possessions.  1 pair, yet another 20 pair will be enough to make you feel whole inside.  
• Determine a want vs. need.
• Set goals for your finances.

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About Facing Fear

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The path to greatness starts here!

"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." Zig Ziglar

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"All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas......." Shel Silverstein

I was an only child for 8 years, so I spent a great deal of time immersed in books.  My favorite was Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein.  His stories were so silly to me.  

Reading was so important to me.  I had a very busy brain and books allowed an escape from the noise while improving my intellect (No, I didn't know that then).  I was a normal kid, quite social, athletic, fun loving but I was a bit "wired".  I was hyperactive, I had a ton of mental energy!  At the end of my day when I still required stimulation I would often cuddle up with a book and read.  I fell in love with the knowledge, the humor, the sadness, the hope, there was so much to love.  Books opened my imagination, and freed it to go anywhere.  Not just anywhere within the bounds of my imagination, but I could visit the imaginations of others through their words and the worlds they would create.  

Recently while listening to a Podcast and the speaker quoted Shel Silverstein.  “All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas....... starts a Poem by Shel Silverstein.    

"All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas" by Shel Silverstein

All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin' in the sun,
Talkin' 'bout the things
They woulda coulda shoulda done...
But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All ran away and hid
From one little Did. 

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Change

Did you know there is an actual psychological diagnosis for those that fear change? Metathesiophobia is the medical jargon for it.  Why do people fear change?  For some of us we'd rather stay in a miserable familiar situation than venture out into unfamiliar territory and potentially find something better.

Change by definition is simple; the modification of a situation, environment, mental/physical condition that alters the current path.  Yet, so many struggle with change.  Often the fear of change lies in our lack of confidence in our decision making abilities.  Decision making is often based upon our inner sense of knowing what to do.  This "knowing" is formed by our scope of previous experiences and know how.  The thing about change is that it takes us into an unfamiliar territory.  For many this is when fear sets in.  Because we can't predict the outcome our mind begins to play out all sorts of scenarios (often unfounded).  It is these self limiting beliefs of fear that keep us stagnant.  Originally fear was an emotion to keep us safe from real dangers, like charging animals.  We no longer have those dangers but the emotion of fear has remained but we use it in a manner often inapplicable to the situations involved.

Why do we fear change?

• We seek friends, social situations, and experiences that reinforce our current beliefs.  
• We don't like the illusion of failure.  
• We dislike criticism.
• We don't want to be wrong or make the wrong choice.



Fall is a visual representation of change.










• FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)
• We don't understand our core beliefs and how their affect.
• We tend to operate from a place of imagined outcome vs. true intent.  

"Fall is an incredible time of year.  It is a vibrant depiction of change.  You see powerful trees once full of flora and awe becoming dormant and entering a state of dormancy.  Come spring those dormant plants come alive with vibrancy and strength they haven't shown before."

You have this sense of unrest, displeasure or perhaps you just know something just isn't quite right.  Maybe you're unhappy with your social life, work life, relationships, physical appearance, whatever it may be you realize that change is needed.  So how do you go about getting past the fear and making a change?

Planning/Anticipation is the point in the change process where you realize change is needed.  This is often the point where many get hung up and paralyzed.  Often our emotional barriers suspend our decision making abilities and blocks out our ability to focus.  This is where you waiver and are indecisive.  You know what is needed but you may not be fully committed to changing.   Take time to weigh whether or not staying the same is worse than changing.  Debate the pros and cons of change within your mind or write them down.  CALM DOWN!  Excitability and fear all hinder change.  Once you've accepted that change is necessary begin to enact a plan to achieve the desired change.  

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Salute to those whom have served!

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Failing Forward

It is in reflection that we find an opportunity for personal growth and development.  Mistakes are simply the result of action, they are not condemning. Mistakes are an opportunity to find a better solution.

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