Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Victim Mindset

"Stop treating yourself as a victim of your past.  Just be a confident survivor and you be able to handle anything.
Self-evaluation and self-criticism is difficult especially when you have issues with low self-esteem or self-confidence.  It’s easier for people to place blame on things outside of self. When you blame all your problems or successes on outside influences you give up all power and opportunity to improve or change a situation.  This approach creates an invisible shield that is used to deflect bad feelings or experiences.  This “shield” robs you and can render your “sword” (hope) useless.  Pick up your sword and use it to slay the problems in your life. 
A victim mentality creates the illusion that part of your life is controlled by others, leaving you feeling powerless over situations.
Steps to regain control and power of your life and to stop being a victim:
1.      Describe or focus on an event in your past good/bad.
2.      Acknowledge how your decision/action affected this event.
3.      If you were satisfied with the outcome reflect on this and take ownership of it.  If you weren’t satisfied with the outcome take time to reflect on what actions (by you) resulted in an unfavorable outcome and what could be done differently in the future. 
4.      Learn from it. Whatever the outcome make sure you walk away with knowledge!
Not sure if you have a victim mindset?  Here are a few questions to ask yourself;
1.      Are a lot of your obstacles related to other people’s actions?
2.      Are you unable to see the commonality in of yourself in your life?
3.      Do you find it difficult to recover from unfavorable outcomes?
4.      Are you holding on to anger/resentment against someone whom you believe has done some wrong to you?
5.      Do outside influences/events constantly alter your direction?
So what to do about a victim mindset?  Like most things, change the way you think!  Stop seeing yourself as someone who is powerless.  Remember nothing in life is happening to you, it’s happening because of you!
I strongly suggest reading Joyce Meyers, Battlefield of the Mind.  This is a great book that deals with self-talk and spiritual healing.