Hard work does lead to failure, ooops, I mean success.

The truth behind succeeding.  

You would be surprised by how many people are unaware of the amount of failure experienced when we set out to achieve a goal.  Succeeding is not all of the glitz and glam portrayed on television.  When we view another person's success we only see the result.  We don't get to see the sleepless nights, the worry, or the failures.  All we see is the result of their endurance.

Almost every successful individual I've encountered have shared with me how difficult and trying their journey has been.  They speak of how much they've had to overcome in order to reach their goals.  I've come to realize that the sooner we embrace and understand this principle the easier it will be for us to overcome the roadblocks and obstacles we face in our own journey.  When we're able to associate these difficulties as being normal and part of the journey, we can begin to see success and achievement all lie on the other side of our failures.

"You always pass failure on the way to success." Mickey Rooney

Could you imagine what would've happened if Michael Jordan had given up on his hoop dreams when he was cut from his high school basketball team?  People who succeed in life all possess these key traits;

• Endurance.  Successful people are ready to weather the storm.  They know that the road may be difficult and challenging but the reward outweighs any challenges ahead. 
• Acceptance.  Successful people accept their failures and learn from them.  They don't allow themselves to be defeated by temporary setbacks.  
• Positivity.  Having a positive attitude is an imperative trait to possess when pursuing a goal.  You have to believe that you can achieve your goal.  
• Adaptable. Our world is changing at a rapid pace.  In order to succeed you have to be able to adapt to these changes and change course quickly.
• Reflection.  In order to evolve and develop the skills needed to advance to your next level self reflection is key.  How can you address that which truly stands to halt you in your tracks if you don't acknowledge it?
• Curiosity.  To succeed you have to be willing to constantly expand your current knowledge capacity.  Don't let your own education be something you were told you had to learn!           

“If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.” - Dale Carnegie

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Dare to Dream

I decided this year to face my fears!  My fears were standing in the way of achieving my goals and living a better life.  My biggest fear was my DREAMS.  I was afraid of how large they were and how difficult achieving them would be.  I realized that far too long I was sitting back and living my life according to what it should be instead of what I wanted it be.  This was the result of my expectation that everyone would understand my goals and support me.  It was difficult for me to understand that everyone was viewing the world through their own eyes.  What was good for me may or may not have been what was good for another.  Once I realized and accepted this I begin to embrace my own dreams, goals, and ambitions.  I dared myself to dream.  I dared to believe the impossible was possible.  So the journey began.

Stay the course.  The pursuit of ones dream is a road that is unique to every traveler.  Consistency and perseverance are critical characteristics necessary as we pursue or goals and dreams.  Motivation and endurance are key traits that many of us fail to realize dwells within in us.  We question and doubt our abilities to stay the course and often lose focus on our journey.  Thankfully, each day we are given an opportunity to try again; we're given the opportunity to achieve what was unachievable previously.  In pursuit of our dreams we must embrace every encounter, difficulty, and achievement are thrust upon us in order to gain the wisdom necessary for the next leg of our journey.

"Don't let your excuses be bigger than your dreams."

Be Courageous.  The difficulty in personal success is finding the courage to confront our fears.  Everything we desire lies on the other side of that which we fear.  You can't land your dream job being afraid to take the first step; whether it's soliciting a new employer, enrolling in school, or launching your new business venture.  Be confident and step outside of your comfort zone, this is where your success and achievements dwell.   Learn to take those fearful first steps in stride and accept that sometimes you will succeed and sometimes you will learn a valuable lesson.  

Keep going.  For some getting started is pretty easy, for most staying the course is obstacle.  Learn to keep going, don't give up.   Find the confidence within yourself  to know that through persistence your efforts will eventually become the success you dream of.  Rest, if you must but don't quit.  

Be of service to others.  Your journey and experience can be the motivation and encouragement that others need.  Remember that when you started, you sought the expertise of those whom have succeeded before you.  We are all integral elements in the circle of life, when we help others we are in turn helping ourselves.  Even if you have just started pursuing your dreams there is someone who has not yet started; open your heart, lean on your faith and extend your hand to help another.  Learn to see the light in others, even when they can't see it in themselves; treat them as if that is all you see.  Our jobs are not to judge; our jobs are not to determine who deserves something.  Our jobs is to encourage, motivate, heal, and restore.  Don't add to the broken people in the world, help with the healing.  

The road that leads to our goals and dreams will take us places, give us new experiences, and reveal strengths we didn't know we possessed.  I encourage you to dare to dream, dare to dream that the impossible is possible.  

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Victim Mindset

"Stop treating yourself as a victim of your past.  Just be a confident survivor and you be able to handle anything.

Self-evaluation and self-criticism is difficult especially when you have issues with low self-esteem or self-confidence.  It’s easier for people to place blame on things outside of self. When you blame all your problems or successes on outside influences you give up all power and opportunity to improve or change a situation.  This approach creates an invisible shield that is used to deflect bad feelings or experiences.  This “shield” robs you and can render your “sword” (hope) useless.  Pick up your sword and use it to slay the problems in your life. 

A victim mentality creates the illusion that part of your life is controlled by others, leaving you feeling powerless over situations.

Steps to regain control and power of your life and to stop being a victim:

1.      Describe or focus on an event in your past good/bad.

2.      Acknowledge how your decision/action affected this event.

3.      If you were satisfied with the outcome reflect on this and take ownership of it.  If you weren’t satisfied with the outcome take time to reflect on what actions (by you) resulted in an unfavorable outcome and what could be done differently in the future. 

4.      Learn from it. Whatever the outcome make sure you walk away with knowledge!

Not sure if you have a victim mindset?  Here are a few questions to ask yourself;

1.      Are a lot of your obstacles related to other people’s actions?

2.      Are you unable to see the commonality in of yourself in your life?

3.      Do you find it difficult to recover from unfavorable outcomes?

4.      Are you holding on to anger/resentment against someone whom you believe has done some wrong to you?

5.      Do outside influences/events constantly alter your direction?

So what to do about a victim mindset?  Like most things, change the way you think!  Stop seeing yourself as someone who is powerless.  Remember nothing in life is happening to you, it’s happening because of you!

I strongly suggest reading Joyce Meyers, Battlefield of the Mind.  This is a great book that deals with self-talk and spiritual healing. 

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Living in the past

One thing I’ve found is that a lot of people dwell in their past.  Know that each day is a new day and a new chance to do, be and see better!  Don’t focus on yesterday unless you want a mindset of woulda, shoulda, and coulda. Constantly practicing this thought pattern robs you of can, did, and done!  Enjoy some quotes on change and the past!

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past are certain to miss the future." John F. Kennedy

“One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.”  ~Michael Cibenko

 “I have memories - but only a fool stores his past in the future.”  ~David Gerrold

“We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today.  I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great.  If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.”  ~Art Buchwald

 “If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven't done much today.” ~Author Unknown

“Living the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causing you to bump into people not going your way.”  ~Edna Ferber

“Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.”  ~Jerome K. Jerome, The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow, 1889

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“There are over 7 billion people in on Earth…and you’re going to let one person ruin you day?”-unknown

How often have we awakened believing we could conquer the world, we could do anything, and the sky was the limit?  Then you cross paths with the one individual whose sole purpose on Earth is the ruin your day with their negative thoughts and actions.  Well, in reality this is an extreme look at thing, but we too often allow our interactions with some individuals to alter our mood.  When you come in contact with someone whose behavior may alter yours “choose” not to allow it to affect you.  That individual’s attitude is theirs and belongs to them.  Don’t allow it to infect you.  Although, if they are giving off positive energy embrace itJ.  Always remember the schoolyard tease, “I am rubber you are glue, whatever you say bounces of me and sticks to you!”

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